Aha-Ha Moment

A conversation with a Lisa, a fellow book club member created a mini aha ha moment yesterday. This month my book club is reading “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin. Disclosure: I haven’t read it yet as I’m still waiting for my copy from the library. The book has led many people to alter their lives for the better. Another one of our book club members wants the club to do a happiness project together. Since I haven’t read the book yet, Lisa gave me a quick rundown starting with the challenge to change 5 things in your life a month. My stomach started to clench with the stress of a) coming up with 5 things b) the upheaval in my life to change 5 things in a month and c) oh God I’ll have to come up with ANOTHER 5 things for the next month. With these thoughts swirling around in my head, I zoned out on the recap of the rest of the book. Then I tuned back in to hear Lisa admit how changing 5 things was beyond her at this point.

Wait a minute, what? This is a very organized and together lady we’re talking about. I’ve lost count at the number of self-help books and organizational blogs I read, while my life and house remain a mess. This is not a knock on any of the authors I’ve read, this is all about me. Why is it when I go in with such good intentions about implementing all the fabulous ideas, nothing happens. Oh a pile of stuff might be cleaned up or I create my affirmations list, then… I get overwhelmed and nada. Oh wait this was about her response not mine. Without guilt my friend said since 5 changes were to overwhelming, she decided to pick one thing to change a month to create more happiness in her life. Hmm, pick ONE thing to change in my life and do it for a month. Well yeah, that I should be able to manage. (As soon as I decide what that change should be). The aha-ha for me is I can take a piece from a self-help book or blog and just do that piece. AND thats OK! I don’t have to implement the entire process, just incorporate the part that really resonates with me. 

Affirmations Fill Our Minds with Positive Messages

Affirmations develop a mindset that is necessary to make a person's life better. Affirmations direct our mind, thus our actions, to those things that add abundance in our lives. But it takes more than just hearing, reading or writing affirmations to make a difference in a person's life. To make real change takes action.

Step 1: Create a specific targeted set of affirmations. For example an affirmation stating “I have achieved financial freedom” immediately raises the question why; drilling down on the why will lead to a resonating affirmation. An affirmation that truly resonates with you will inspire action. For me it is “I am living in a blissful state of financial abundance”.

Step 2: Make your affirmations apart of your daily life. Repetition is the key to bringing your affirmation to life. Meditate every morning on your affirmations. Chant them while you’re in the shower. Hang them in key places around your home, like the bathroom mirror or fridge. Create a Vision Board. Find whatever works for you. The object is to make your affirmations a part of your conscious & subconscious life.

Step 3: Put your affirmation into action. Once your affirmations are a part of your life, you will begin to get promptings. A prompting is a thought that encourages action.  When you act on a prompting you are taking steps to make your affirmations a reality. I recently was prompted to contact an old friend. The result was two-fold, reconnecting a relationship I missed and a project that is bringing me closer to a blissful state of financial abundance.

Create you affirmations and then act on your promptings. See what wonders occur.

Sandwich Day

I had been meaning to schedule my mammography since the beginning of the year. Life happens and here it is July and still no mammogram.  Then while scheduling appointments for my dad – an early morning doctor appointment followed up with an early afternoon CAT scan, both nearby the hospital, I suddenly had a block of free time on my hands. Now being the multi-tasker I am, I searched for something to fill those hours between dad’s appointments.

Oh, what about taking care of me and finally scheduling that mammogram? I called the Ripple Breast Center at Morristown Memorial Hospital and explained that I was trying to sandwich my abnormal mammo and ultrasound in between dad’s appointment in 2 days time. Any chance they could squeeze me in?  After a bit of deliberation on their part and me shamelessly playing the pity card, they came through. Hooray, they could squeeze me in to get squeezed, swished, and mushed!

Like many of the sandwich generation, I tend to forget to take care of me, and when I do it’s sandwiched in between taking care of others in my life.

Visioning the Future

The entertainment business is awash in cancellations that are hitting the NY Area TV & Film community hard. Guiding Light, Mercy, Law & Order, and as of September, As the World Turns, to name a few shows cancelled in the past year. New Jersey is about to drop tax breaks for production in the state, which can only further curtail production in the area. Given the dearth of available work in the area, I began the process of figuring out what I want to do next. One thing I know is I wanted to leave the door open for production work. However, those pesky bills are clamoring to be paid, so I’ve got to create additional streams of income. One of the avenues I chose was to become a Certified Vision Board Counselor.  As a Vision Board Counselor, I can help you create your own vision board by guiding you in life visioning, designing your vision collage whether by hand or computer.

Beginning Monday, my mentor, author Joyce Schwarz, is hosting a once in a lifetime event to Make Your Dreams Come True in 6 weeks or less with the Vision Board Bootcamp. I will be joining with like-minded-people seeking to start living our dreams now. Check out this virtual bootcamp:  Vision Board Bootcamp

Are you ready to live your dreams?

Understanding Everyday Stress

WHAT STRESS IS...

Stress is an abnormal condition that disrupts the normal functions of the body or mind. No two people are affected in exactly the same way, or to the same degree, but most people living in our society suffer from its effects at one or more times during their lives. Symptoms range from mind headaches, occasional bouts of insomnia, overall restlessness, digestive problems, irritable bowel syndrome, constipation and diarrhea, and abdominal pain.

SELECTED LIFE EVENTS THAT CAN BRING ON STRESS:

•       Death of a close family member or friend.
•       Major personal injury, illness or pregnancy.
•       Major change in the health of a family member.
•       Marriage, marital reconciliation, divorce.
•       Arguments with spouse, family members, friends, co-workers.
•       Financing major purchases.
•       Major change in eating habits, living conditions, moving.
•       Changing to a different line of work.
•       Major change in responsibilities at work.
•       Changes in working hours or conditions.
•       Being fired at work.
•       Starting a new job or career.
•       Retirement from work.
•       Business readjustment, changes in financial condition.

How many of items on this list are effecting your life right now? Know you are not alone and there is help. There are a mirade of healthy things you can do to relieve stress; walking  outside, talking with close friends, hugging a pet, taking a bubble bath are on my list. Life coaches, therapists and support groups are available to help you help yourself.  

Growing Old Gracefully

Today, according to the World Bank, our life expectance is 78.4 years. Conservative experts believe that man is really build to last about 100 years; and that medical advances and more healthful living habits could bring this about within a generation or two. Gulp, panic is setting in as I try to figure out how I’m going to finance that many years, let alone what to do with all that time. The truth is what good is it to add years to life if we do not also add life to years?  In fact, unless people learn to enjoy life and to grow old gracefully, the extra years may be an additional burden. I don’t know about you but I intend my golden years to be joyful as I gracefully age into Centurion status.

The traditional view of aging is generally accompanied by a loss in physical and mental flexibility.  This is noticed in a tendency to become stiff in the joints; a slower comeback after a strenuous trip, or excessive "night life;" in slower healing of wounds, sore muscles, and sprains; in slower recovery of pep after an illness; and in greater difficulty to adjust to new people, new places, and new ideas. Well wasn’t that just a cheery future to look forward to.

Gratefully new studies have brought about new thinking. The conclusion now is that the performance and ability of the elderly has long been underestimated and can be greatly improved by a proper diet, sleep and exercise along with rest and relaxation. Many elderly people tend to lose their joy and will to live and chronic worriers may mope around and withdraw.  Medical authorities now say that laughter is one of the best medicines for the elderly.  You can always keep your sense of humor tuned up by surrounding yourself with pleasant and interesting people.  So don't be afraid to laugh at yourself even when no else is around.

Now that we all know the role that physical activity plays in our lives, remember to do something physical every day.  The joints must be used or quite simply they will tighten with age creating that stooped worn out appearance we so often associate with getting old.  Keep yourself flexible and fit on an exercise program consistent with your ability and don’t forget to laugh. As for me, I’ll be hitting Planet Fitness later today and texting Diana to find out the when & where of her next Laughter yoga session.           

                               

Tai Chi is it for Me?

Tai Chi is an ancient martial art that marries mind and body to create awareness and clarity of the inner you.  It is proclaimed to have health benefits ranging from strengthening the body to alleviating a variety of ailments such as Arthritis and gastric problems.

I’ve seen groups in the park acting as one going through beautiful routines. It looks like karate in slow motion. Considering how uncoordinated I am, slow is better. Tai Chi has always peeked my interest, but I had never tried a class; until the other night that is. The instructor gave us a brief background on Tai Chi and another meditative practice, Qi Gong. Then he led us through a few movements of each discipline. While looking in the mirror as the class moved through the Tai Chi movements I realized it would take years of working with the same group of people to ever look like those people in the park. The movements themselves were doable, but the precise nature of the discipline left me dispirited due to my aforementioned un-coordination.

Qi Gong on the other hand had a more of a give it your best shot vibe, a much better fit for my klutzy abilities. Qi Gong translates to life force work. It incorporates breathing and slow movement to enhance overall health without the martial arts theme. Qi Gong can even be done lying down. Now this is my kind of exercise. I’m definitely going forward to taking some Qi Gong classes.

Health-e-Motion

Yesterday was the Grand Opening Celebration for Health-e-Motion.  There was the typical meet & greet, food, drink and tour. Unique to Health-e-Motion were the Nia classes you could jump into for a song, intuitive readings in a private room or the Drumming Ceremony which was the finale for the day. Now I have never seen a Drumming Ceremony much less participated in one, but that didn’t stop me from picking up a drum and banging along. What a hoot. Everyone started out trying to follow the rhythm but as the ceremony progressed, we all just did our own thing. Some people were drumming or using other percussion instruments, some danced and some enjoyed the performance. Usually I’m in the latter group. Just spending a few minutes in this new space and I was already enjoying being out of my comfort zone.

Health-e-motion is the brainchild of Christine Clifton. She describes herself as a Personal Growth Trainer and has worked as a life coach and Nia instructor. Christine wants to bring healthy living modalities under one roof. Whether you are searching for spiritual, intellectual, emotional or physical enlightenment Health-e-motion is the place to be.

I first met Christine a few months back at a Rock Your Chakras class she was leading. It was fantastic! It was a mix of movement, meditation and soul searching. Just weeks before my mom’s death, I came into the class hopeless and dark and left feeling hopeful and light. It was an awesome internal transformation. Excitingly, this is one of the classes being offered during the free Monday evening classes in March. I can’t wait to take it again. To me the real excitement about Health-e-Motion is the opportunity to try new things in a safe environment. There’s this Dance Your Chakras (March 31) billed as all about chakras and balancing these energy centers through dance meditation. Sounds like something not to miss to me. 

Stress Buster #3

Meditation is a terrific stress buster. I do great at guided meditations. I really get into the zone using guided imagery.  In the past I’ve attended meditation classes in person. The other night I discovered online meditation videos. Google Videos has a variety of meditation videos available for free. Last night I received a guided meditation from Mari Cooper of AHA Moments Inc. It was wonderful. Mari will be speaking at the Bernardsville pod meeting of B.I.G. (Believe, Inspire, Grow) Monday night at Equus Restaurant in Bernardsville. I’m really looking forward to hearing her in person.

Stress Buster #2

In my search for stress relief, I recently discovered laughter yoga.  Laugher yoga is a fun exercise involving deep yoga breathing coupled with laughing. It taps into your inner child playing games like jumping rope and my favorite, hopscotch. Laughter yoga is creating buzz, Better Homes & Gardens featured it in their February issue. Locally, www.laughterheart.com is a great source. I’m looking forward to my next laughter yoga session. 

Stress Buster

As mentioned in my last blog, the Stress Number Test tells me that I am suffering from major stress. Now the challenge is what to do about it.  Yes, I will take an aspirin for my tension headache, but I’m not a big fan of drugs to solve long term problems.  I love massages which are great stress reducers.  Actually I REALLY love chair massages. My tension burrows into and under my traps.  Those wonderful ladies in the mall with the massage chairs do wonders for me. One of my favorite stress reducers is the long hot Jacuzzi bath.  A few years back, I did my first home renovation project – a bathroom remodel.  Now I have a wonderful bubbling bath tub for long relaxing soaks.  A recent favorite soak that I make is Epson Salt & Ginger (1 cup Epson & 2 tablespoons Ginger). It eliminates toxins and body aches.  To make my tub experience as relaxing as possible, I am always in search of bath salts, oils and milk baths.  Send me your favorite baths; I’d love to try new recipes. 

What is Your Stress Level Number?

How much stress are we living with? I found this quiz on my computer; I’m not sure when I originally took it, but since I’ve got the start of another tension headache, I thought I’d see where I stood now. Drs Holmes and Rahe developed a list of events and the corresponding amount of stress they cause.  The combined total of both positive and negative stresses in the past year gives you an idea of your current stress level. How many events on this list apply to you?

                        EVENT

- Death of spouse                                                        100

- Divorce                                                                         73

- Marital separation                                                      65

- Jail term                                                                       63

- Death of a close family member                               63

- Personal Injury or illness                                          53

- Marriage                                                                     50

- Fired at work                                                              47

- Marital reconciliation                                                45

- Retirement                                                                 45

- Change In health of family member                       44

- Pregnancy                                                                   40

- Sexual difficulties                                                       39

- Addition of new family member                              39

- Business of adjustment                                             39

- Change in financial status                                         38

- Death of a close friend                                               37

- Change to different line of work                              36

- Change in number of arguments with spouse        35

- Mortgage over $100,000                                          31

- Foreclosure of mortgage or loan                               30

- Change in job responsibilities                                    29

- Child leaving home                                                     29

- Trouble with in-laws                                                  29

- Outstanding personal achievement                          28

- Wife or husband begins or stops work                     26

- Change in living conditions                                         25

- Revision of personal habits                                        24

- Trouble with boss                                                       23

- Change in work hours or conditions                         20

- Change in residence                                                    20

- Change in recreational activities                               19

- Change in church activities                                        19

- Mortgage or loan under $100,000                           17

- Change in sleeping habits                                           16

- Change in number of family get-togethers              15

- Change in eating habits                                               15

- Vacation                                                                        13

- Christmas/Holiday                                                     12

- Minor violations of the law                                        11

Less than 150 = minor stress.

150-199 = mild stress

200-299 = moderate stress

Over 300 = major stress.

Yikes, I scored 15 stressors for over 400 points!  Obviously I have some major stress reducing to do. I’m off to take an Excedrin and a warm bath.

National Laughter and Get Rich Day

Today is National Laugh and Get Rich Day. Laughter is good for you. It is a great stress reducer. Laughter strengthens your immune system and reduces food cravings. My friend Diana has developed a wonderful Laughter Yoga Program. Visit her website www.laughterheart.com and enjoy a laugh today. I’ve gone to a few of her classes and they are terrific. We played like children. Laughed like Santa. In general we had a wonderful refreshing time.

Get Rich Day – what to do… I’d love to have a fabulously successful business bringing in bucket loads of money – working on a plan for that. Last week NJ began participating in the Powerball lottery – maybe this will work in the short term.

Got a plan – to celebrate today, I’m watching one of my favorite comedies Operation Petticoat and buying a Powerball ticket.

Don’t forget to laugh today

Memo from God

I received this the other day from a friend. It lifted me up, so I thought I’d share it with everyone.

To:              YOU

Date:           TODAY

From:          GOD

Subject:       YOURSELF

Reference:    LIFE

This is God.  Today I will be handling ALL of your problems for you.  I do NOT need your help.  So, have a nice day.

I love you.

P.S.  And, remember...

If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do NOT attempt to resolve it yourself!  Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME.  All situations will be resolved, but in MY time, not yours.

Thank God, I can just sit back and enjoy the day.

Love yourself, for if you don't, how can you expect anybody else to love you?

February is National Boost-Your-Self-Esteem Month. Self esteem by definition is your opinion of yourself.  So do you have positive or negative self-esteem? My esteem has taken a beating in recent months, so this February I am recommitting to liking myself. Today I cut & colored my hair. Tomorrow I’m attending a Ladies Lunch Networking event. I intend to finally set a workout schedule (and actually show up at the gym). And that is just the start. What are you doing to boost-your-self-esteem?

Do you have a DNR?

Do you have a Do Not Resuscitate Order (DNR)? That is one of the most emotionally devastating questions to be asked about you loved one. Family discussions about end of life preferences are important; however the triggering event is generally an abstract idea, something that may happen sometime down the road. Even signing a living will does not have the emotional impact of a medical professional asking if there is a DNR.

Our family has had many conversations regarding death, dying, our preferences and the like. My dad’s military background created an acceptance of dealing with this topic at an early age. My grandfather passed away when I was 10. My mom had to make the decisions as the end neared. She often told me the most important thing was that he was comfortable. After college I wasn’t allowed to go on a European holiday until I had a will. Burial vs cremation conversations began in earnest after my aunt passed away in the early 90s. For the record, we’re a cremation, no viewing family. When my mom had surgery a few years ago, the hospital requested a living will. She got one and so did the rest of us. Her living will like all other important documents is safely stored in our safety deposit box. (Side note- access to living wills is important. Bank hours may not be convenient for retrieval when necessary)

Fast forward to a month ago, my mom had gone to the doctor for pain in her back and by the end of the day she was admitted into the hospital. That was on a Friday and by the following Friday, she was dead.

My mom’s breathing had become labored. When I questioned what was happening the nurse asked if Mom had a DNR. Hearing that felt like a slap in the face thank you very much reality. In theory and in fact the question of DNR had already been answered by my mom herself. At that moment however, I just told the nurse I wasn’t prepared to answer that question and hurried away. Later that day when I was speaking with the doctor, he asked the same question. I told him my answer today will be opposite of my answer tomorrow once my brother saw my mom. Gratefully, that worked for him. That night was a sleepless one for me. Having spoken with friends about their experiences with DNR, I spent the night mentally preparing myself to sign the DNR. I don’t care what the medical professionals say; signing that paper is like signing my mom’s death warrant.

The next morning, after my brother had seen mom, we had a family meeting with the doctor. Things had gone from bad to worse overnight and the end was here. As we absorbed blow, I knew it was time for the DNR. Steeling myself, I turned to the nurse with the clipboard who attended the meeting and said I was ready to sign the form. Instead they tell me that, if there is a documented discussion with the doctor regarding DNR, it is not necessary to actually sign the form. Seriously, NOW you tell me this? It would really have been nice to have known the night before, I might have actually slept. (Note this applies for New Jersey, I don’t know about the rest of the country.)

After the anti-climax of the now non-signing of the DNR done, we turned our attention to making my mom’s last hours as peaceful and painless as possible. Mom’s last day was filled with family and friends.